Lots to say..

Lets see where should I begin?  Wed night was Guitar Hero night with the boys.  Ended up just being a few of us but it was still a lot of fun, and apparently I'm pretty damn good at it.  I mean I usually play on hard/medium depending on the song (I will own you sweet child of mine! Just you wait!!!) and one of the guys plays exclusively on hard and the other that was able to make it was like me and played on a combo but I get a higher percentage *gloating*.  He even admitted I'm better!  Anyway, we'll all need to do that again.  And according to RedOctane they're making a Guitar Hero 80's edition due out this summer and of course 3 is due out this fall.  *hint hint some of us have birthdays in the fall....* 

Last night went out and saw Pirates 3.  The place was packed!!! I mean I got there about twenty minutes early cause I had to save like five seats and the only place that their were more then about three together were in the very front section *ickyness* but anyway the movie was fantastic.  I loved the Jack going insane parts.  Hell I could spend all night saying I liked this part and that, its hard to pick a fav!  I really liked the marriage though, I want one as cool as that if I don't elope.  And I wonder if they're going to make a forth?  They kinda left you hanging as to what happens to Elizabeth or even Davy Jones... I'm going to see it again with Mark probably Sunday. 

Holy shit its almost one in the morning, I'd better be heading to bed so I can get up and go back to work *can you hear how happy I am?* I'll post more later when I have time!

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Archery

I'm no good at the archery thing *sarcasm*

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Number three

Go on laugh it up, I start a blog and miss my third post. I have a good reason though, normally I would call this person a friend, currently I'm not quite sure if I want to call them that, so we'll say acquaintance for ease of reference, has done something very, how to put this lightly, stupid? See she was once dating a guy that in all honesty I never really liked, but never really disliked. He simply isn't the kind of person that I associate myself with. But she was happy and as her friend I supported her. Then came the fighting and the drama. He lied, she took him back. I told her then that he wasn't worth it. Finally he had done something else and they broke up. I was happy for her, it was a big step in the right direction. She could do lots better. Then he became a lil drama queen and talked about her at work. This went on for sometime. She was unhappy, and rather mad at him. I was itching for a chance to hand this guy his ass. Finally he backed off some, then she tells me that she's 'casually dating' him again. I was irked. I didn't understand. Why would you go back to someone that not only had hurt you in the first place, but one that all of your friends had said were bad for you? I mean, I'm going to be honest with anyone if they ask my opinion. But whatever, if getting hurt again is what's going to teach her that if someone is worth having they won't make you cry, that they won't hurt you, then I figured she would have to learn it the hard way because apparently I had wasted my breath. Now comes the part that really has been bothering me. Its not that she's now officially dating him again, that is an element, yes. Its the way I found out. See in high school my friends and I were honest with each other because we respected each other. I many times had to tell friends something that was either uncomfortable for me or for them or for both of us. I didn't do it because I enjoyed it, I did it because I respected them enough that I wanted them to hear it from me and not from someone else second hand. I mean theirs few things worse then someone knowing more details about one of your closest friends then you. Especially when they've had the opportunity to tell you and neglected it. I know its not easy to do, but I respected them more for having the guts to tell me, then letting me find out from a third party. Now see that's not what happened with her. She knew I'd disapprove, so she neglected to mention anything to me. I found out from my brother, who barely knows her, that she was dating him. And he found out from facebook! It would be one thing if he had seen her earlier in the evening and I hadn't spoken with her. But I had and he hadn't! I feel insulted. I mean she may as well have come up and slapped me in the face. Yes I wouldn't have liked what she told me, I still think she's going to get her heart broken and I don't want to see that, but I would have had more respect for her for standing up and doing it. Now I doubt everything she's said. What other details has she neglected to mention because she didn't want to upset me? I feel like I'm being childish and a drama queen but it doesn't change that her actions make me feel like I've been slapped.

And then theirs the whole she's dating him again. I told her the last time they broke up that he isn't worth it. I mean if he really cares for you, he's not going to fuck up that first chance. And if he does then he's not worth it. I suppose I'm spoiled in some ways, I watched my mother go through a divorce and I saw what an effect it had, not only on her but on everyone. I personally never want to live though it again, so I would never date someone who was okay with seeing me hurt. Then I was also stupid enough to get into an off an on relationship when I was a year or so younger then what she is now. I remember what its like, but unlike her I never have needed a relationship to determine my self worth. I don't have to be dating someone to enjoy life. I'm comfortable and content with my own company. Now granted I do enjoy and miss the presence of the person I'm dating now, but remember I'm a few years older and looking for things in a relationship she isn't. See in my eyes the only possible reason that she is going back to him is because she's dependent on him. Maybe she thinks she can't do any better, I dunno.
Then she says that she doesn't really trust him, but hopes she will more day by day. I'm sorry that's not how a relationship works. I trust Mark completely. I have no doubts, that not only what he says is genuine but that his actions are too. I've never been in a relationship where I didn't trust them, admittedly to different degrees but I still did otherwise why would you be exclusive to a person that wasn't reciprocating?

"Please. You are not talking about love- mutual regard, admiration, respect, thoughtfulness, openness, acceptance, honesty, etc.- you are talking about desperate dependency, a sad attachment of familiarity. Familiarity can be a deadly trap. The convenience, the routine, the time invested, the daily structure, provide an intense pull. Combine that with a fear of the unknown both in the world and in yourself and you have a recipe for quicksand. You're not going anywhere. What motivates moving on? For some, the pain of where they are just gets too great. For others, it is the glimmer of hope and the attractiveness of new possibilities, provided by role models and books like this."- Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives, Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Part of me wants to let her read that book, it would do her a world of good. I know I have no place to tell her who to date, but I do have a say in how she treats me, and at the moment if she thinks that 'protecting' me from what she is doing is how to keep my friendship, then she is wrong. I'll take an uncomfortable conversation long before I'll take being protected. Besides with all the ways we have to communicate anymore, its not like you have to say things face to face, a text message, an offline message, e-mail. She had no reason to try to hide that from me. So yea I'm still mad, I'm not fuming, but I'm certainly not happy.

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Second

Oi interesting day. I had to work from noon to five which really wasn't that bad, I mean the managers left me alone so it could have been a lot worse. I could have done without the constant ringing of the phone but their wasn't a whole shit load of returns the way it usually is on Wednesday. I'm ready to kill my dog, for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of meeting Ace...



Yea that's him looking so cute and innocent, he's not. Tonight I took he and Rex out on a walk on the farm, nothing new. But I was about 3/4 of the way home and I had to go though a fence so I stopped and realized that Ace hadn't caught up with Rex and I. I waited. Nothing. I called. Nothing. I started backtracking and calling. Nothing. By this point I've been yelling for the dog for probably twenty minutes and I'm getting horse, the sun's setting, its getting rather cold and I'm pissed to put it very mildly. I spent probably a good half an hour yelling for that damn dog and nothing. Notta. Zip. Zilch. I'm to the point where I pretty much told him that he could just sleep out in the woods and I was going home. So I hike my ass up Mt. Olympus and lo and behold moron is laying that the top of the hill and looking at me like 'where the fuck you been pokey?' To add to that he reaks. I don't mean like wow stinky dog, I mean he didn't just get skunked he'd mated with one or something he's horrible!!! I mean my eyes were watering when he just walked by me! And you could taste it, that's probably the worst cause its like it won't go away, it just lingers. Stupid dog, as many times as he's been skunked you'd think that he'd realized that playing with the lil black and white critter means stink... Apparently he hasn't made that connection. Tomorrow I get to mow the lawn (can you sense the excitement?) I hate that job. I'm probably going to get a sinus infection. The one thing I'm allergic to and I get the job. Yay me. Speaking of jobs though, I haven't heard back from anything yet but hey its only a couple of days after I turned in an app. *crosses fingers* I want out of that store so bad. And as those of you who are serial readers know, I'm a notorious quiz thief so he's my latest stolen piece:

10 LAYERS OF ME

LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE
Name: Tal, Kat, Red I answer to about anything.
Birth date: 09-20
Birth place: KY
Current Location: home
Favorite Color: I’ve been on a red binge lately but I have a lot of favorites, love black though.
Hair Color: Red. Very bright red.
Righty or Lefty: Right
Zodiac Sign: Virgo


LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your heritage: Irish (very obvious), Scottish, some German and a lil Native American.
What shoes did you wear today: Heels and tennies
Your weakness: Howling of a coyote. Gives me the chills.
Your fears: Lycans.
Your perfect pizza: Super thick crust and only cheese.
Goal you'd like to achieve: Travel around the world and somehow get paid for it.

LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW:
Your most overused phrase: ‘no comment’, or 'this should be on guitar hero' maybe.
Your thoughts first waking up: I hate you alarm!
Your best physical feature: I get told different things, I dunno… eyes?
Your bedtime: Sometime in the early hours of the morning.
Your most missed memory: Hanging out with some of my buds in HS.

LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK:
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi if I have to choose… RC please!
McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King
Adidas or Nike: Adidas or Puma.
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Don’t care.
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate usually, depends though I like vanilla ice cream.
Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Smoke: no way in hell.
Cuss: yea, nasty habit
Have a crush(es): Meh, I think we’re past that stage.
Liked high school: Hated the people.
Believe in yourself: Self inflating ego.
Get motion sickness: Nope, like a rock.
Think you're a health freak: I’m beginning to get that way…
Get along with your parents: Yea, its rare we have a real fight.
Like thunderstorms: *nod*

LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
Drank alcohol: Am right now…
Gone on a date: yep
Gone to the mall: Unfortunately… I needed games damn it!
Been on stage: Not that I recall…
Eaten sushi: I don’t do fish.
Been dumped: Not this month.
Gone skating: wanted to.
Gone skinny dipping: nope.
Dyed your hair: Never.

LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER
Played a game that required removal of clothing: probably and don’t remember it.
Gotten beaten up: No, you hit me your getting your ass handed to you.
Changed who you were to fit in: Ha no way.

LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLDER
Age you hope to be married: Whenever its right, age is nothing but a number.
Numbers of Children: none.
Describe your dream wedding: Can we elope and just throw a party?

LAYER NINE: IN A GAL/GUY
Best eye color?: I love blue eyes but I don’t care.
Best hair color?: I have this thing for blonde's but again theirs more to a person.
Short or long hair: Whatever.
Best first date location: idk.
Style: fun, intelligent, witty, smart alek.

LAYER TEN: IN THE NUMBERS
Number of people I can trust: I can county them on one hand.
Number of CD's I own: I unno, fifty? I d/l everything now.
Number of piercings: 3.
Number of tattoos: none, save the sharpie ones I randomly give myself.
Number of times been on TV: A few times.
Number of times my name has appeared in the Newspaper?: Never bothered to look.
Number of scars on my body: A ton, damn you dirt bike!
Number of things in my past that I regret: Nothing.

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First and foremost

The first post with a new blog, how... unexciting? This makes number three for those of you just tuning in, and looks like I'll have to get you up to speed. Don't read with any expectations and you may learn something, provided I actually say something worth learning. Usually I won't, once and awhile I just feel the need to be profound. The whole point of starting this thing is to get me back into writing, as I am out of class for the summer and don't want to loose any skills I may have gained during the last semester. My goal is to update once a day, so we'll see how long I can keep it up before life gets to hectic. And that's all you need to know now.
Currently I'm watching Casino Royale... makes time number three I think. Still love that opening song, problem is it gets stuck in my head. Makes for a good ringtone though.
I'm hunting for a new job my current one is ... well our management needs some major help. I've worked my ass off for the past six months and have had two Saturdays (not even Sundays!) off the entire time. Then they threw a fit when I asked off for one of them even though someone else was also scheduled to work the same day. After that little stunt and a few that they've thrown on my fellow employees I'm turning in my application other places. I'm kinda hoping for a call back from one of the local bars, I think bartending would be a lot of fun and well I could make a lot better money doing that then selling makeup. So cross your fingers for me.
You know, with Mark gone basically all summer and Taryn spending all of her time working (And when are we going to play racquetball hmm missy?!) I've come up with a few ways to keep myself busy this summer. I need to call and see if its offered but I want to get back into ballet, I loved and hated it as a kid but I think it would be good for me. Then I also ran off with Mark's Fender so I'll see what I can do about learning how to play guitar. I'm owning at Guitar Hero so maybe some of it can transfer over. ... I dunno what else to say at the moment, so I'll shut up... until later!

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